Ram Dass on relationships

I just read this today and saw how it related to my relationship with my partner.   Her and I are constantly growing and changing together.  Supporting each other through all that comes along.   I never understood the depth of a relationship until a few years ago.   Everything we face is new, with challenges and amazing new discoveries at every turn.  



"When I look at relationships, my own and others, I see a wide range of reasons for people to be together and ways in which they are together. I see ways in which relationship -- which means something that exists between two or more people -- for the most part reinforces people's separateness, as individual entities. And as those individual entities the people in the relationship treat the separateness as a reality rather than simply honoring the differences.

When I used to perform weddings the image I always had was the image of a triangle, in which there are two partners and then there is this third force, this third being, that emerges out of the interaction of these two. The third one is the one that is the shared awareness that lies behind the two of them. And the two people in the yoga of relationship come together in order to find that shared awareness that exists behind them in order to then dance as one. The twoness brings them into one, and the oneness dances as two, and that's a kind of a vibrating relationship between the one and the two. People are both separate, and yet they are not separate. And they are experiencing that the relationship is feeding both their uniqueness as individuals and their unit of consciousness.

Now, that is extremely delicate because it is so easy to get entrenched in your own "I need this," "I want this," "You are not fulfilling this for me" and seeing the other as object. But the delight, which all of you have experienced, of being with somebody, where you are sharing an awareness of the predicament you are both in is poignant. And you are sharing an awareness of the predicament even when you are having an argument with each other; there is an awareness that you are both almost delighting in the horrible beauty of it. I don't know whether any of you have had that. I have had it quite often. You know, we have differences. But we are enjoying -- we're hating it and enjoying it both -- because there are these levels we are playing at all the time.

We come into relationships often very much identified with our needs. I need this, I need security, I need refuge, I need friendship. And all of relationships are symbiotic in that sense. We come together because we fulfill each others' needs at some level or other.

The problem is that when you identify with those needs, you always stay at the level where the other person is her or him -- it is satisfying that need. And it really only gets extraordinarily beautiful when it becomes us, and then when it goes behind us and becomes I"

Facing Fears

As I was climbing a climbing wall yesterday, I suddenly lost my grip on the handholds and fell back about 5 feet before the harness and rope system kicked in and I was halted in midair.   During the fall, I entered a timeless state where there was no thoughts, only the feeling of freefall and time seemed to not exist.   It was only a brief second after the rope took a hold of me that fear starting to take over.   My thoughts raced and I immediately wanted to have my climbing partner take a hold of the rope and rappel me down.  That's when my instinct and experience took over and told me to face this fear and continue the ascent.   I trusted my body, my muscles and also my partner to keep me safe and made my way methodically up to the top.  The feeling of facing this was incredibly rewarding.   Had I not decided to continue upwards, I feel as though this fear could have intensified the next time instead of being something I surmounted.   


Afterwards, it really made me think of the idea of fear.  We're often faced with personal fears and instead of facing them, we take the comfortable path.   The easy and well treaded path instead of trying something new or challenging ourselves to new heights.  If you can envision that your life is uniquely catered to you, bringing experiences, challenges and fears to face so you can learn and grow.   To continue learning about yourself and the World.   The next time you feel your heart racing as you're facing a new experience, try facing it head-on.   Let the fear in for a moment and then act on it. I don't mean to walk forward foolishly but rather to learn about that new experience....do your research and also do all the training and learning necessary so that you can face (and surmount) that fear or new experience.   You'll be surprised where your life wants to take you and what you can achieve if you take those big chances and work to grow all the time.   

There are no limits in life.   Only those imposed by your mind.


Site is live!

I still have some work to do and details to add, but the site is basically complete.   I want to thank all my supporters for the infinite love.   Stay tuned to this site for exciting developments.   Leave a comment here on on the contact page if you have any questions, suggestions or comments.   Love and light.   Vincent

New site, new focus

I wanted to continue with my previous site but realized the limitations and shortcomings of it quite sometime ago.   I really want to not only feature my art but also the stories behind the pieces.   I was also looking for a place that offered me the possibility of selling and featuring items right from the page.   I've worked on this for some time and come up with this new online stop to view and connect with my art more deeply.   Hope you enjoy it.